


Ask Me

by hannahfanficrobron



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Affairs, Conversations, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-25
Updated: 2016-06-26
Packaged: 2018-07-18 05:32:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7301428
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hannahfanficrobron/pseuds/hannahfanficrobron
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An AU, where it was Robert who fell in love with Aaron first, rather than the other way around. Starts off set somewhere early 2015 before Robert gets married to Chrissie.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Aaron arrived in the barn and instantly started kissing Robert, hands everywhere, pulling at clothes impatiently. They never had much time. Robert let him for a good few minutes, desperately needing the touch. But then he twisted his head away, pulling back.

“I want to talk,” Robert said.

“About what?” Aaron asked, dropping his hands, though his palms were itching to get Robert’s shirt off, feel his skin, taste his body. Robert took a step backwards.

“This is getting out of hand,” Robert said, shaking his head. “It was never meant to get like this.”

“You’re ending it?” Aaron asked, feeling a surge of loss at the thought. He’d come to rely on Robert, their rendezvous’ getting him through the boring days. Until they could be alone in bed together again. Or in the back seat of a car, or a hotel...

“No,” Robert said, eyes wide as if urging him to understand. “No, I’m not ending it. I can’t.” _I’m in too deep_. The thought bright in his mind and it was all he could do not to say it. “I want more from you.”

“I’ve got no more to give,” Aaron said. They were both aware of the walls Aaron put up around himself, and Robert wanted to get under them. Wanted to know every version of Aaron. But it was difficult because Aaron never let him in, not even close. “You shouldn’t want more, anyway. You’re getting married next week,” Aaron said.

“Ask me not to.”

“What?” Aaron said in complete shock. That had never been the plan. It was just sex. Mind numbing, heart stopping, completely thrilling sex, but nothing more.

“Ask me to leave her,” Robert said, his voice quiet but his eyes earnest.

“I’m not going to do that,” Aaron said, making Robert sigh heavily. “This is just…” Aaron bit his lip, looking down for a moment before returning to Roberts gaze. “It’s physical, it’s a cheap affair, and it’ll be over soon. That‘s all it is.”

“Will it ever be over?” Robert asked. “I’ve had affairs before, this is different. You’re different.”

“Robert…” Aaron shook his head. He wasn’t prepared to hear this, and he hadn’t expected it. Robert didn’t put his heart on the line, ever. He was too confident, too cocky, too sure of himself. This man in front of him was not the man Aaron had come to know. He was different, vulnerable and Aaron had no idea how to handle this honest Robert.

“I can’t give you what Chrissie can,” Aaron said. “You’ve got it all made, why’re you throwing it away?”

“Do you really think so little of yourself?” Robert asked, taking a step towards him. “Can you not see…?”

“See what?”

“I am in love with you,” Robert said lowly, his eyes wet with tears he wasn’t allowing himself to cry. This wasn’t how he’d seen this conversation going in his head.

“No,” Aaron said, swallowing against the lump of emotion in his throat. “No, you’re not. You said all along this was just a distraction, just sex.”

“Yeah, and now it’s not,” Robert said. “You know it’s more than that when we’re together, even if you can’t admit it.”

“I can’t have this conversation,” Aaron said, turning away.

“Wait,” Robert said, grabbing his arm quickly and making Aaron turn towards him. “Tell me there’s hope for more, and I’ll leave her.”

“No,” Aaron said. “I’m not worth anything, Robert. And I’m not going to be the one ruining your marriage. You want to leave her, that’s up to you. I’m not responsible for that, for ruining your life, everything you‘ve worked for.”

Robert couldn’t help himself, he pulled Aaron into a kiss. Aaron didn’t respond, stiff in his arms. “I can’t give you what you want,” Aaron said, still tasting Robert on his lips. “Stop asking.”

“Do you really want me to marry her?” Robert asked confused.

“No,” Aaron admitted. “But I’m not stupid. There is no version of this in which you leave her for your gay lover. And I’m not going to let myself be hurt by sitting around hoping one day you will.”

“Are you this…”

“What?” Aaron asked, smiling though there was nothing humorous about it. “Realistic? Come on, Robert.”

“Where are you going?”

“We’re clearly not going to have sex, so I’m going home,” Aaron said, calmer than he felt, walking out of the barn. Aaron's heart was racing uncomfortably hard and he had no idea what to do with that revelation. Robert had nothing to say to stop him from leaving, anything else would have turned into begging, and that would have been awful. He couldn’t beg, not even for Aaron.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know Robert’s more vulnerable here than in canon, but I really think it’s possible Robert could have fallen first, as he was risking everything by sleeping with Aaron. By comparison, the affair didn’t leave Aaron with much risk at all. I also thought that Aaron never really sees how much he means to people at times. Thought it would be interesting, let me know what you think (and where this should go next!) Thank you!


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the encouragement on Chapter 1. I really am making this one up as I go along (more than usual!) so we'll see how it goes. Sorry it's short, but enjoy!

Aaron’s mind had been racing, ever since he’d seen Robert hours ago. He hadn’t expected it, hadn’t even guessed that Robert felt that way. And now he’d voiced the words, they were bouncing around in his head. He hadn’t been able to settle, rattling around the back room of the pub all day. He wondered if Robert had text him, or if he should send Robert a message. That’s when he realised he didn’t have his phone, it wasn’t in his pockets and he couldn’t remember the last time he’d seen it. Aaron went through his bedroom, before going downstairs still empty handed. In the back room, he saw Paddy sitting on the sofa, phone in hand. Aaron recognised it instantly.

“I’ll take that,” Aaron said coldly, snatching it from Paddy’s hand. Shit. A picture of Robert was up on screen which Paddy couldn’t help but have seen.

“Want to talk about it?” Paddy asked.

“What you doing snooping through my phone?” Aaron asked. He trusted Paddy and thought better of him than that.

“I thought it was mine,” Paddy said honestly. “Didn’t realise until I saw that…”

“It’s nothing,” Aaron said, checking the messages again, and the picture Paddy had seen. Luckily, you couldn’t tell it was Robert. Aaron could, but that was only because he knew Robert’s body incredibly well.

“You’re seeing someone then,” Paddy pushed.

“It’s nothing,” Aaron repeated.

“You can talk to me, you know?” Paddy said. “I’m not going to judge you.”

Aaron sighed and sat down on the arm chair, facing Paddy on the sofa. Maybe talking about it would help. Couldn’t possibly make it worse, could it? “Yeah, all right,” Aaron said. “It’s casual. Or it was until this morning,” he added under his breath.

“So, what’s his name?”

“I can’t,” Aaron said instantly. 

“Why?” Paddy asked.

“He’s… not exactly single,” Aaron said.

“Okay.”

“It’s not serious, Paddy, it’s just sex. And I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Sure?” Paddy asked quietly. “I can always listen.”

Aaron didn’t know where it came from but he suddenly had the need to talk, even though it couldn’t help. “He told me he loved me today.”

“And that’s a problem?”

“Yes,” Aaron said fervently.

“Why?” 

“Because it’s not real, Paddy. It was never meant to be real. It was never meant to last this long either.”

“How long’ve you been seeing him?”

“A couple of months,” Aaron admitted. Paddy was surprised, he could tell. “It can’t be real. I’m not stupid, I know he’ll never leave her.”

“Her?” Paddy questioned. Aaron shook his head, he’d said too much. “So he’s…”

“Forget it,” Aaron said, getting up. “I shouldn’t have said anything.”

“Can't you walk away? Why do you keep doing it then?” Paddy asked quickly, before Aaron could leave. Aaron didn’t say what he was thinking. _Because the sex is simply incredible. He makes me feel things I didn’t know were possible. Physically... it makes the rest of the world stop_. He walked away.

“Aaron!” Aaron didn’t turn back, instead going upstairs. He needed space from Paddy. He checked his phone, seeing a message from Robert.

_Sorry about this morning, too serious. Can meet up tomorrow night? Up for it? x_

Aaron debated about what to reply. But then, they both knew what he’d say. _Yeah, sounds good. Text me where and when._

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I know Robert’s more vulnerable here than in canon, but I really think it’s possible Robert could have fallen first, as he was risking everything by sleeping with Aaron. By comparison, the affair didn’t leave Aaron with much risk at all. I also thought that Aaron never really sees how much he means to people at times. Thought it would be interesting, let me know what you think (and where this should go next!) Thank you!


End file.
